Saturday, August 23, 2014

How to deal with a possessive partner

Posted On : May 08,2013

Is your partner driving you crazy with constant phone calls, surprise visits to your work place and round the clock inquiries about where you are and what are doing? Well, if you are feeling bugged up in a relationship with very little personal space left for you, then you are dealing with a possessive partner.

 
Their over protective, over caring, insecure and rather cranky attitude might drive you crazy many a time, but only if you comprehend their psychology and learn to cope with it, you will be able to tackle them well. And may be you will fall in love all over again with your devoted weirdoes. 
 
To help you figure out their problem and ways to deal with it, we roped in our expert
Dr. S Sudarsanan, Senior Consultant, Psychiatry, Rockland Hospital, to give you an inclusive insight into the minds of your possessive partners. This is valuable advice, you would not like to miss out. So, follow the following ideas and you will learn to handle your loved one.
 
Know them
The changing values of society, media and cinema that are narrating tales of infidelity; and excessive use of mobile and telephone -- all these contribute to a lack of mutual trust and confidence among partners. People having a bitter past experience in a relationship or having a broken family, willy-nilly tend to become insecure, and over a period of time, if this not dealt with tactfully, their insecurity and lack of confidence could transform them into an excessive possessive and hyper sensitive partners. Their insecurity and over-protective attitude certainly doesn’t make them a bad person, it just makes them a bit different from others. SO, you just need to know that they are different and have different emotional necessities.
 
Deal with loads of love and a little of tact
Well, it might be testing, but if you sincerely want to deal with you possessive partner in a positive way, start observing then intently. Their behavior in certain situations, phrases or people would give you sufficient hint about exactly what makes them uneasy. It’s most likely that it would turn out to be a few surprisingly trivial issues, like appreciating colleagues, dressing up provocatively for parties, having too many friends or receiving phone calls at odd hours, that would be making them insecure.
 
Subtly make them understand that it’s okay if someone fails to keep promises sometimes as instead of just carelessness, there could be a valid reason for that. And last but most important thing, keep reassuring that you love each other and foster trust in them, which as a matter of fact, is nothing more than letting your partner know what you feel about them, rather than bottling it up.
 
Do not leave them
Breaking-up the relationship or leaving your possessive partner, is something you could do only if you intend to make them even more insecure and vulnerable. Punishing them for that extra loving and caring, is certainly not a very good idea. Rather, discussing the issue with your partner, trying to understand their state of mind and avoiding things which make them insecure, could bring normality, love and trust in your relationship. And still if you feel that nothing is working, you can always consider seeking a professional’s help.